An Epitaph Lucius Abraxus Malfoy
by Half-BPrincess
Summary: For Lucius Malfoy, family was all. But, for his family, was Lucius Malfoy all?


_Father_. How cold that word seems now. I remember when I was a child, it was my favourite word to say. I wanted to be like you, to do everything you did. I sneered like you did, wore my hair the way you did, spoke as you did. But you, _Father_, you just wanted me out of your hair. Did you ever read a letter that I sent home from Hogwarts? Did you ever write one back? You used to sign the ones that Mother wrote me, but they were always full of _her _words, not yours. Never yours.

And would you believe that that was everything I wanted in life? I wanted my _Father _to be proud of me, to tell his friends how brilliant I was, to write me letters. I only ever wanted you to love me. I'm sure that's why I went into Slytherin; my ambition was to please you. I guess the damn Sorting Hat knew how lofty that ambition was. Everything I ever did was for you.

I should have been in Hufflepuff for the faith that I showed in you, for all my loyalty, and you should have been _shot _for all that you gave to me. Lessons in the Dark Arts, memorising family trees, planning 'suitable matches'. They were never suitable for a child. You were no Father to me, no you were my tormentor, my worst enemy. At best, you were my sire.

I've got a new name now, do you know it is? The name that makes my eyes light up, and a smile appear on my face? _Daddy_. But, of course, you wouldn't know that, not even if you were still here, because you never spoke to Scorpius, you barely even looked at him, only to be sure that he had the right hair, the right skin, the right bearing. And you found him lacking, as you always would, as you found everything.

Did you ever look any closer at me? When I was a child, I wonder? No, I doubt you did. You see, I was never _you_. I'm not as cruel, or heartless. If I heard my child scream, I'd be doing everything that I could to stop it. I wouldn't be the one with the wand, causing the pain. Scorpius won't ever be afraid of me, won't ever hide from me, won't cry because of me. I'll be a good Dad, and if that makes me a terrible Malfoy, then so be it.

I suppose it's a good job that you didn't look at me recently, either. I'm not the son that you wanted, Father, but I _am_ the Malfoy heir. No, wait, I'm not the Malfoy heir. I am _the _Malfoy now. And I can promise you now, that I'll be better than you ever were. You see, everything I do, everything I've ever done is in the best interest of the family. Our family. My family. Not like you, you who wanted more power for yourself. More gold, for yourself. And where did it get you, I wonder? On your knees, a slave to a filthy half-blood.

I won't ever be that way. A Malfoy should be beholden to none, something that you never understood, and now you never will.

Astoria is pregnant, again, father. I know about the curse you tried to cast on her when she had given birth to Scorpius. I know that, as a Malfoy, I'm only supposed to have one heir, but I don't give a damn. Astoria had a shield around her. One created by me. Because I didn't trust you. And I was right. I want my son to grow up in a happy house, one full of laughter and smiles. Yes, damn it, I want him to grow up in a family like the Weasleys. And that's because I want Scorpius to be happy, unlike I was.

Astoria isn't the same kind of woman as Mother, she isn't cowed into hiding away from me, isn't scared to voice her opinions. She _loves _me. And I, her. She won't ever fear my hand, nor will she fear my wand. She won't be afraid of me, like Mother was of you. And she'll follow me to the very end, because of that, she won't betray me like Mother did you. Mother hated you, as do I.

I won't be the same kind of man that you were. Won't be that kind of father. If there's one thing that I'm proud of, in my life, it's that I've finally grown out of your shadow. People these days see me as a real person, not just your son. They see me as someone to look up to, someone who has made his way from the Dark to the Light. Not that I have, of course. I've just been more open about the lighter aspects of my life.

Merlin, I hate kneeling at your grave for this long, but never let it be said that I'm not a dutiful son. I know exactly what I'm going to write on your stone, and it will be fitting. It will be exactly what you deserve, you filthy bastard.

Just like you deserved what I did to you. No, that's a lie. You deserved a lot worse, but Severus convinced me to be merciful. Good choice of a godfather, by the way, Father. Best decision you ever made - not for you, of course. I'll always remember the look in your eyes when Severus put the body-bind on you, the fear as I poured that potion down your throat, the pain and anger once you realised that I was killing you. And you'll never understand why I did it, Father. I didn't do it for myself, as I'm sure you imagined. No, I did it for my son, for my wife, for my unborn child.

Goodbye Father. I hope you rot in hell for all you've done.

_Lucius Abraxus Malfoy_

_There comes a time at which all mistakes are ended._


End file.
